Racist dating in the dark
Maybe they'd grow up and out of colorism, the way I was forced to.I spent my early childhood years regularly getting called a “grease monkey,” “Blacky,” and whatever else people could say to try to change your mind about loving your dark skin.But of the 90% of the reported racial preferences, 89.9% are preferences for white people. Let’s not get heteronormative now; we’re only in the third paragraph.)Now, it gets tricky, because when a person sits down and says that they particularly want to date white people, they’re not thinking about the fact that the client before them, and the client after them, are saying the same thing.They’re not thinking about the fact that this is a widespread phenomenon.People are entitled to their taste and you can’t help who you fall in love with, right? Which maybe doesn’t sound bad, because I mean, they have other preferences, too. I’m talking about all my clients, only 55% of whom identify as white.Height, religion, career paths, Netflix show most recently watched, the list goes on and on. (This seems as good a time as any to mention that when I say “all my clients,” I do mean clients of all sexual orientations.They’re just thinking about their own personal preferences. It’s cultural, it’s national, and it’s fucking everywhere. Christian Rudder, co-founder of Ok Cupid, writes: Scrolling through Ok Cupid’s blog, you’ll stumble across a myriad of depressing race stats.
As a professional matchmaker, I’ve interviewed over 1,000 singles, and in the past two and a half years, I’ve made around 2,500 matches.
Two college degrees ago, I approached all club nights with a very specific understanding: The guys were most likely going to go for my light-skinned friend all night.
It didn't affect how I dressed or whether or not I wore makeup, and it certainly never stopped me from dancing the night away to the Top 40 playlists or my favorite southern ratchet hip-hop records.
As is protocol with sweeping epidemics, people should start by honestly talking about the problem (see: for suggestions).
Is it racist to categorically not date people of a certain race? But why would we assume that someone who gets us would look like us too?
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