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Men and women alike are using America Online to pick up, peel off and put out with a kind of glee unseen since the summer of love.
(Like many of the men in this story, he asked that his real name not be used.) Within minutes of entering one of six AOL chat rooms designated for gay men in Atlanta, he exchanges naked photos with other men — some with their faces cropped out — and arranges a sex date.
What AOL lacks in steam rooms and towel-wrapped men it makes up for in steamy chat and naked pictures zooming across its servers.
Once you have accessed the directory of chat rooms, you can join any room by either double-clicking on the name of the room, or by selecting the name of the room and then selecting Go Chat.
Cruising-for-sex spots, in Rock Creek Park and Meridian Hill Park, just to name two, are attractions. On July 8 at a.m., Bill, the 55-year-old from Boston, leaves this message: "I'm delighted to be a part of this group." He then talks about his wife and how her knowing of his same-sex attraction "threatens" and "hurts" her.
Both the AOL Desktop software and the AOL screen name registration is free.
Profiles in chat rooms and postings on Web sites are written in code. Later that day, at p.m., Steve, a 48-year-old who works in photography publishing, says this of his situation: "Basically, it works about as well" -- he laughs a shy laugh -- "as something like this can work.
"Bimm" translates to bisexual married male; "m4m" translates to "married male for married male." Yesterday at a.m., AOL's chat room listings included rooms such as "Bi Curious Married Men" (36 people there), "dallas bimm4bimm" (36 there, too), and "Bostonbimm4bimm" (another 36). It's a difficult life."Steve, who lives in New York, has been married for 27 years, a "great father," he says, to his two preteen boys.
"I don't think I'll live my life as a gay man -- ever.
It's clear in my mind that I'll get older with my wife. I'm very committed to my family." Ralph Roughton, on the faculty of the Emory University Psychoanalytic Institute, is familiar with that inner struggle: How to tell a wife, after nearly 30 years of marriage, that you're attracted to men, too? "Today, I'm still struggling with the fact that even though I've opened up to my now-ex-wife .